Chess History And Reminiscences
great musical composer--"Beethoven"--(Beat often)!!
The excuse made for our old friend L., the hatter, that he was
not playing in his best tile hardly applied. Buckle, with his
proverbially `bad hat', usually under the table, yet invariably
played superbly.
A man of leather found his efforts to excel, bootless. The
retired fishmonger Umpleby played but a (f) visionary game.
The tailor complained that he played more like a goose than a
bird.
------
THE PIECES IN CHESS
Jokes have been sometimes made about the pieces used in
chess. Even the calm and serene Mr. Lambe could not refrain
from being facetious in reference to the conversion of a Pawn or
private soldier into a Queen. Another remarked that the Queen
works very hard for a lazy King who alone gets all the checks.
Umpleby, the retired fishmonger in the chess story declared that
he would have been the best player in the world, but for the
Knights at chess which jumped about in the most unreasonable
and absurd manner without rhyme or reason, here there and
everywhere, and the lady who it was said was found engaged and
playing with thirty-two men remained single ever afterwards.
A rather boasting player once said, "I must win, I have a piece
--a (of) head." One answered, "You would be more likely to
win, if instead of a piece of a head, you had a whole head."
The Rooks occupy the corner squares, and may be played along
either of the files of squares they command.
Mr. Serjeant Drytong whose legal acumen was acknowledged
by all parties, was also distinguished for a pretty wit and great
skill in our Royal Game.
On one occasion he appeared for the Defendant in an action
brought by four persons to recover a sum of money lost by his
client in a betting transaction. In the course of his speech the
judge (C. J. Wontone) interrupting him asked, Do I understand
you to say that the Plaintiffs were standing two and two at each
end of the street in order to intercept the Defendant when he
came out. Not exactly two and two, my lord, said the counsel,
but as on a chess board. There was a Rook at every corner, only
these, as I shall show, did not act upon the square.
Miss Rooster, on one occasion when her dearest friend, Miss
Pullet called, was found so absorbed in studying a problem by
the great Schwerlagerbier, that her visitor could not obtain even
a sign of recognition. After various unsuccessful efforts to
attract the attention of the fair enthusiast, Miss Pullet departed,
and meeting an acquaintance immediately afterwards jocosely
remarked that she had left Miss Rooster engaged with thirty-two
men, whereby she acquired the reputation of being a dangerous
coquette. To this thoughtless jest Miss Rooster ascribed the
circumstance, that during the remainder of her life she walked
in meditation fancy free.
------
COVENT GARDEN INSPIRATION
We have already seen that the Chess Masters whom the
Fortnightly Review have in a sense made immortal are
Lowenthal, Rosenthal, Horwitz, Zukertort, Winawer and Hoffer, the
writers seem to have forgotten his Lordship and Purssell's great
philosopher who have furnished more fun than all the above put
together, and where is the typical "P.F.G." (pale faced German),
"California" and the "fidgetty W." and Hoffer's "Estimate of
the value of English Players" (1887). Surely half the wit of
these Fortnightly Review contributors could have made an article
of these alone without the addition of more serious persons such
as Steinitz, Blackburne and Bird.
"A foreign estimate of the value of English Chess Players from
Covent Garden" was the title of a little skit which caused some
amusement five or six years ago. It commenced with Blackburne
5 pounds for a blindfold performance, Gunsberg 2
pounds: 2 : 0 : 0 for a simultaneous performance, and ranges
downwards till it comes to two pence for the price of Pollock's
proverbial pint of porter. Bird could always be bought for a
glass of whiskey hot and a pleasing nod, and Mason could be got
rid of on an emergency for half-a-crown. Even poor Zukertort at
the B. C. towards the last stood very low. One evening, after
the ordinary dinner at this famous chess club, the whole of the
Amateur Company, with no exception, adjourned to cards and
billiards, Zukertort, Blackburne, Gunsberg and Bird remained alone
in the chess room, the last named proposed a match between
themselves, the others less enthusiastic did not fall in and
after a desultory conversation of half-an-hour or so the little
band dispersed.
The article about "Fleas and Nits" which well nigh led to the
extinction of the Chess Monthly emanated from Covent Garden
and was aimed at Mr. Steinitz.
Steinitz has perhaps been the subject of more jokes than any
other chess player. From the day when he first assumed the
© 101ChessTips.com. All Rights Reserved.
